Count to ten... then lie again... I left the chat on read like a little test Watched the minutes crawl across your name You used to fill the quiet so easy Now I starve it just to see if you ache the same I painted my calendar full of nothing Said “can’t talk drowning later maybe” Cute right? I wanted you hungry I wanted you empty Every “sorry I’m slammed” was a love letter in reverse I built the distance so you’d measure it Don’t you dare get used to the space I made I said I was busy so you would miss me Left the room so you’d memorize the shape I take I said I was busy so you would miss me Tell me the silence tasted bitter tell me it kept you awake I said I was busy so you would miss me Say it back... say you noticed I was gone I said I was busy so you would miss me If you didn’t I’ll just disappear a little longer I rehearsed the excuse until it sounded true “Meetings deadlines world on fire you know how it is” My hands were shaking the whole time I typed it Praying you’d see through the lie and still stay I collected every unread hour like trophies Then hated myself for needing the proof You were supposed to break first That was the plan What if you liked the quiet? What if my absence fit you better than I ever did? Then I’ll keep being busy I’ll keep being busy until the missing turns into a habit Or until I vanish for real this time I said I was busy so you would miss me Left the room so you’d memorize the shape I take I said I was busy so you would miss me Tell me the silence tasted bitter tell me it kept you awake I said I was busy so you would miss me Say it back... say you noticed I was gone I said I was busy so you would miss me If you didn’t I’ll just disappear a little longer I said I was busy... so you would miss me... Did you?